Welcome to Episode 13, this was originally supposed to be a guest post, but they have some stuff going on in their world so instead I’m going to talk to you about a couple of things that I think are important instead and you will hear from them on another day.
So what’s the haps? The importance of asking for what you want and how to ask for and apply feedback are key parts of my life AND are showing me that the more I focus on each of them, the better my life gets.
It doesn’t matter if I’m asking for somebody to grab the door when your hands are full or if it’s what you want for lunch, people CANNOT read your mind. However, if we use our words and really get specific about what we want we might just get it.
Now just as important as asking is the preparedness of understanding that we might not get it. The more specific our description of a thing can be the more likely we are to actually get it.
So what if someone says no? Really, nothing. We are no further ahead than before, but in the same respect we are no further behind either.
Now what does this have to do with feedback? Ok, they seem disconnected, but when you set a specific goal we can also start to find the right words to ask for feedback.
But feedback is a fickle beast, some people will hurt you. Yes. This is reality, but most people are not hurting you on purpose. Very rarely do people respond with the idea of attack, some just don’t use the best words for you to feel good about it.
Life is tough that way. Acknowledging that they likely weren’t trying to hurt you will help you to apply that feedback anyway.
Creating the loop: Once you ask for feedback, you need to start looping back to those people who offered you points to improve upon and ask them their thoughts on your application of it. This lets you identify with them if you really heard their thoughts and were able to apply it and if not they can provide you more ways to continue to improve.
Criticism may not be agreeable, but it is necessary. It fulfils the same function as pain in the human body. It calls attention to an unhealthy state of things.